I am me.
It has been ages since I last went out with my mom and sister, so I decided to get out of bed today and bring them out.
We went for lunch, and then the beach. Which is something really different because we don’t normally go to the beach, not even for picnics. So it was a surprise when my mom agreed.
My sister and I decided to sit on the rocks on the edge of the beach, and take a few photos. I was there to get in a bit of the serenity, actually. If the sun wasn’t a scorcher, I would have stayed longer.
My head’s been in a mess lately. I blame it on the hormones, time of the month and all. So I did me a little thinking, complained a bit to my mom, but not giving it all away because I’m not ready to tell her yet.
I’ve come to a realization that even though I am left broken from my previous relationship, I am still a whole person. I need to find someone who doesn’t need a half a person to complete themselves.
I am whole.
Cracked in some places, but I can still be fixed. Not by anyone else, especially not a boy/man, but by myself. I will heal eventually.
But I am still one whole.
When I am with you, I will not complete you, I will simply complement you. So you need to be one whole person too for it to work. If you’re still half a person, then we’ll be one and a half. Incomplete.
So, as someone who’s whole, even though fragile and a bit frayed at the ends, I don’t like being led on.
Which, unfortunately, led my mind to thoughts of my previous relationship and how I gave my all to it.
Somehow, when I woke up this morning, it still feels like my heart got broken the night before and I found myself crying. It’s been a while since I’ve cried over it, so I was taken by surprise.
I gathered myself, talked to someone who could help, and cheered myself up.
I willed to myself that I will get over this.
Because I’m better than this.
I am me.
